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Anti Twilight by Blue-Demon-Hybrid

Anti-Twilight by LexLight92

Poems and fan fics by YuiHarunaShinozaki




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Submitted on
June 22, 2011
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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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I admit that, at the start, I was cool with it
Twilight couldn't be as all bad as they'd say
Now that I've seen for myself,
I've kicked it off my shelf
Threw the whole kit and caboodle away
True, yes

And I fortunately gained a little knowledge
At least that is one good thing to be possessed
It's so bad, it makes me laugh
Those guys are all riffraff
They're so miserable, whiny, and depressed
(Pathetic!)

Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
Bella only thinks of Edward
Jacob wants to get the girl
Do these guys need help?
Yes, indeed!

Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
You could never find a worse team
Of role models anywhere
Those guys need help
Yes, they do!

Now, it's happened once or twice
Some folks had to pay a price
I'm sad to say
Some fans have raked 'em across the coals
Meyer's had the odd complaint
But on the whole, she's like a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

There's Edward's looks
His pretty face
And don't underestimate
The power of his body language!
(Hah!)

Those girls out there have set up sky-high standards
They think a guy who doesn't glitter is a bore
Yes, these days it's much preferred
For boys to never say a word
'Cause with Edward, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, we're not all that impressed with all this drivel
Smart people will avoid it if they can
Bella dotes and swoons and fawns
On some stranger who's withdrawn
And what does she do once she gets her man?

Come on, you poor unfortunate souls
Go ahead, make your choice
I have far better things to do
And I don't have forever
Come on, Meyer, find your voice

You poor unfortunate souls
It's sad but true
You don't have to cross that bridge, my friends
No need to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
Sign your name on a different scroll

You must watch your step with this Twilight
'Cause this thing's on a roll!
You poor—unfortunate—souls!
It's been awhile since I wrote an anti-Twilight song, and I've been itching to do one to "Poor Unfortunate Souls". I know this Twilight thing's been going on for some time, and it's not over yet. I hear the film version of "Breaking Dawn" is just around the corner, and it's not one movie, but two. Two movies...good grief. :faint:

I'll be so glad when this is over. But maybe it won't be; there's been talk of a possible addition to the series. Anyone heard of "Midnight Sun"? I hear it's supposed to be "Twilight" all over again, only told from Edward's perspective. Hoo, boy. :roll: No sooner does the hype begin to die down than it suddenly flares up once more.

Original Lyrics Howard Ashman (may he rest in peace)

Twilight Stephenie Meyer (after all, it is her legal property)

Song *unicorn-skydancer08

All rights reserved.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthe-last-sea-serpent:
The-Last-Sea-Serpent Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014
You make the absolute best Twilight parody pieces!
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014
I'm honored. :)
Reply
:icondreamthebunny:
DreamTheBunny Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- XD XD XD Nice one
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Thank ye, matey. :ahoy:
Reply
:icondreamthebunny:
DreamTheBunny Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Pfff- XD You're very welcome, captain~! ^^ 
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Plenty more where this came from!
Reply
:icondreamthebunny:
DreamTheBunny Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh really~? XD
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Just take a look around.
Reply
:icondreamthebunny:
DreamTheBunny Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay~! ^^
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Be my guest! I even got an AT song set to that.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrebelartist92:
Rebelartist92 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
Thank You!!!
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
You're welcome...I think.
Reply
:iconbleachfan2010:
BleachFan2010 Featured By Owner May 21, 2012
Thank u for making this :3
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner May 21, 2012
You're welcome, mate. Thanks for stopping by!
Reply
:iconbleachfan2010:
BleachFan2010 Featured By Owner May 22, 2012
:)
Reply
:iconvitaniblackx:
VitaniBlackx Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
i thought twilight was alright and then i watched the movie and it ruined it for me... kristen stewart must die... and rob pattinson can do better - cedric diggory and tyler from remember me anyone?
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
I'm sure Kristen Stewart is a nice person, and I'd shake Stephenie Meyer's hand if I ever encountered her. But Twilight...it just ain't my slice of pie. (I don't really care too much for pie anyway.)
Reply
:iconvitaniblackx:
VitaniBlackx Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm sure Kristen is but she NEVER smiles... ever... and stephenie meyer can write because i really enjoyed The Host
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
I'm not so sure about "The Host". I've been kind of wary of Meyer's writing since "Twilight". I may or may not read that story.

If I ever met Meyer in person, I'd smile at her and shake her hand, but you won't catch her books or any of the movies anywhere in my house. I give her credit for trying her hand at a novel, since those things are tough to write, but even so, it looks more like a very drawn-out fan fiction story written by an obsessed tween. And you're right; everyone in "Twilight" is always looking sullen and sulky and Bella apparently has a loose screw in her jaw; I don't think I've ever seen her with her mouth completely closed. As for Edward, he always looks like he's ready to punch someone's lights out.
Reply
:iconvitaniblackx:
VitaniBlackx Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
yeah... i would do the same... my mum love twilight and has dragged me to all the movies... however i do like the soundtracks to the movies which is a small concelation
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
I guess the music would be okay. I hear one of the soundtracks includes "Clair de Lune".
Reply
:iconvitaniblackx:
VitaniBlackx Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
actually i don't know about that its just that the bands i like are on there so muse, paramore exctre
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2011
Still, I'd rather listen to "Clair de Lune" separately. I wouldn't care to get the soundtrack.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsilverhaunt:
Silverhaunt Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
I-I love you. That was beautiful.
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
Well, thanks very much! This was fun to write.
Reply
:iconjluvswicked:
jluvswicked Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Student General Artist
That. Was. Amazing. :heart:
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2011
Plenty more where this came from.
Reply
:iconshadow0b:
Shadow0B Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh gosh, win
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2011
Thanks, mate!
Reply
:iconshadow0b:
Shadow0B Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
NP
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
I had a blast with this.
Reply
:iconlisa-cullen:
Lisa-Cullen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
If I had better recording tools I would most definetely sing this.
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
That would be nice.
Reply
:iconlovelymissrose:
LovelyMissRose Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I.
Officially.
Love.
You.
*o*
~hugs~
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011
Thank you. It's nice to know you're loved. :heart:
Reply
:iconlovelymissrose:
LovelyMissRose Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome! ^^
Reply
:iconwhacked-out-inc:
Whacked-Out-Inc Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy shit.
This was beautiful!
:iconsoprettyplz:
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011
Thanks, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't swear around me.
Reply
:iconwhacked-out-inc:
Whacked-Out-Inc Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry about that.
Interestingly enough, we both are from more sophisticated sides of internet language.

You politely ask people not to swear around you instead of shouting things like "U SO MEEN U HAV NO FRINDS BECOZ U MEEN". That's something that a lot of people appreciate in someone.

We on the other hand do use profanity multiple times, but try not to go overboard: "YOU ---- PIECE OF ---- I'M GONNA ---- ---- FRIED LEMON -------!"

We're out in the world trying to use English properly!
HUZZAH!
:iconepicfaceplz:
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
Thank you. I appreciate it when people actually use proper English on the Internet; I really hate all that "text-message" talk.

Half the time, I'm wondering, "What the heck are they saying?"
Reply
:iconwhacked-out-inc:
Whacked-Out-Inc Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
They aren't saying anything.
"It is a tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
It's good to know I'm not the only one who doesn't go all stir-crazy over Twilight.
Reply
:iconwhacked-out-inc:
Whacked-Out-Inc Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
The internet is vast.
There are many of us if you look in the right places.
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
That does my heart good.
Reply
:iconsonatchet182:
Sonatchet182 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
Excellent job! You should record this!
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
Any suggestions?
Reply
:iconsonatchet182:
Sonatchet182 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011
What do you mean?
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011
Who do you suggest should sing this?
Reply
:iconsonatchet182:
Sonatchet182 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011
I don't know. You wrote it, why not you?
Reply
:iconunicorn-skydancer08:
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011
I'm not the world's greatest singer. And I don't have music to back me up.
Reply
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