I Can't Read This

I can't read this!
I can't read this!
I can't read this!
I can't read this!
My-my-my-my
(I can't read this!)

Twilight is so absurd
Makes me say, "Oh, my word."
What were those guys thinking?
How could they put such drivel in print?
It sure sucks
When quality goes down
An amateur author who gets the crown
And I know her type
It's over-the-top hype
I can't read this!

I told you, buster
I can't read this!
Yeah, that's how it is, and you know
I can't read this!
Just look at this, man!
I can't read this!
Yo, let me make this as plain as rain
I can't read this!

A right kick in the pants
Might as well pack up my bags and move out to France
So get out of the way
For it looks like Twilight's here to stay
It's on a roll
Come on!
Doesn't anyone with half a brain know what's going on?
Take that!
Take that!
Breaking Dawn's making a comeback!
Let 'em know this is too much
A two-times-too-tall-tale
I can't touch!

Yo, I told you—
I can't read this!
Why you stand and stare, girl?
I can't read this!
Sound the gong
It is on, sucker
I can't read this!

Give me a decent book
That's worth the look
Get these guys off the hook
Do they know?
Miss Meyer is up to her earlobes in fame and dough
That'd be all right
If she just knew how to properly write
A lesson that's hard learned
What is it going to take to convince her
She's done enough?
Some people really just don't know where or when to quit

That's my word, because you know—
I can't read this!
I can't read this!
Take it down!

Stop!
Twilight time

Go with the flow, they said
Say one bad word about this
And next thing you know, you're dead
So steal a peek, if you dare
They call it the best love story, but I don't care
I've had more than my fair share
This monster's here and there and everywhere
I don't get it
Not for a minute could I stand it
Stand it, stand it, stand it

Yeah, I can't read this!
Look, man, I can't read this!
You better get checked out
'Cause you know you can't
You can't read this!
There ain't no grain of doubt
Break it down!

Stop!
Twilight time!

I can't read this!
I can't read this!
I can't read this!
I can't read this!
Take it down!

Stop!
Twilight time!

Every time I see this
My eyes turn inside-out
My ears start to bleed
And my heart just flat gives out
Now, when will they ever
Stop doing this?
With humbug heroes and a poor plot
It just don't mix

It's spread throughout the world
From Greece to Paraguay
Twilight near, Twilight far, Twilight this, Twilight that
While the good books fade away
Can't read this!

I can't read this!
I can't read this!
I can't read this!
Yeah, I can't read this!
I told you, I can't read this!
Too much, can't read this

Yo, I'm outta here!
I can't read this