Bella Got Run Over By a Reindeer

Bella got run over by a reindeer
Walking through the snow on Christmas Eve
We can give a big, fat thanks to Santa
It's so silly, you'd find it hard to believe

She'd been bulking up on eggnog
Couldn't tell ceiling from floor
The girl had gone completely loopy
Took her two whole hours just to find the door

When they found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack,
There was nothing more they could do
So they went to nab some coffee and a snack

Bella got run over by a reindeer
Walking through the snow on Christmas Eve
We can give a big, fat thanks to Santa
It's so silly, you'd find it hard to believe

Now we truly pity Edward
He's not taking this so well
Talking the ears off the Volturi
If this goes the way he likes, that'd be swell

It's not the same here without Bella
Everyone's in black and gray
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we keep her things, or sell them on eBay?

Bella got run over by a reindeer
Walking through the snow on Christmas Eve
We can give a big, fat thanks to Santa
It's so silly, you'd find it hard to believe

Now the turkey's on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And I'd have sworn that the gravy
Goes well with the swampy brown of Bella's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors,
"Better watch out for yourselves!"
They should never give a book deal
To a rookie who stakes claim to all our shelves

Bella got run over by a reindeer
Walking through the snow on Christmas Eve
We can give a big, fat thanks to Santa
It's so silly, you'd find it hard to believe

(Sing it, Edward!)

Bella got run over by a reindeer
Walking through the snow on Christmas Eve
We can give a big, fat thanks to Santa
It's so silly, we find it hard to believe

Merry Christmas!